More Quotes
From Outside Sources

Being as vague as possible
"Over the past few weeks, actions have been taken that have affected many of us."
Senior company official, describing recent layoffs

It would have made sense if he had stopped the sentence earlier
"We'll have the game for you tomorrow, or actually later today, but not if you're where we are, because it's still today here."
Atlanta Braves commentator Skip Caray, just before midnight in the central time zone

Truths, undeniable
"We have this world, and we all live in it."
Jennifer

Radio slogans, intelligent
"Because all work and no play...sucks!"
WLOL Radio

Booker's Top Priorities:
Self suffiencecy
From the web site of independent governor candidate Booker T. Hodges

"If he knocks this close to the pin, it will put the cheese back on his cracker."
ABC golf analyst

"He's going to crack it with a wooden metally thing."
ABC golf analyst

"Matthew LeCroy alerty tags at second and goes to first."
Minnesota Twins commentator Bert Blyleven

"We need to gain a competitive edge over our competitors."
Howard Ringoen, Nintendo VP of Information Systems

"The complexity was becoming more complex." 
Howard Ringoen

"That's maybe the loudest roar I've ever seen."
NBC golf analyst Johnny Miller

"Frozen Waffle seeks Toaster Oven."
Personal ad

"May I have your attention please?  This is a test of the public address system.  If you are in an area in which you cannot hear this message clearly, please call extension 36712.  Thank you."
Company loudspeaker message

"When using any driving directions or map, it's a good idea to do a reality check and make sure the road still exists."
Yahoo! maps

"If you add more cards now, you can increase the total number of cards that you are playing in the game."
Bingo caller

"If you expel me, I will go down as an expelled member."
U.S. Representative James Traficant, who was later expelled and convicted of accepting bribes

"If I was an ostrich, I'd have my head in the sand."
Texas Rangers pitcher Dave Burba, after walking the bases loaded and hitting a batter to force in the winning run of the Rangers' eighth consecutive defeat

"Augie has approved the ATM IMA business case (summary attached).  Please move forward with our operizationalization activities."
Qwest senior VP

"The Twins have made 67 errors this season.  That's 10 less than anybody else.  Seattle has 76."
Detroit Tigers baseball announcer

"These are two able, attractive guys."
George McGovern

"They're anxious about the number of people that have turned out in Grand Rapids because that number could affect the turnout."
Detroit news reporter

"Go with me, Mark Twain country up the Mississippi."
Dan Rather

"This is one of those situations like when a cat finds a mouse in the milk."
Dan Rather

"The situation with the Senate is they're first and goal from about four yards out."
Dan Rather

"If the Democrats can't win this one, it's probably sayonara, adios, say goodbye."
Dan Rather

"I'm taking on a fancy new title, but I'll still be me, and I hope you'll still be you."
Michigan governor-elect Jennifer Granholm

"Katarina Witt is the only acceptable use of an ice rink not involving a hockey puck."
Jeffrey Cook II

"They just throw them in at me, and I just try to keep them out."
Michigan Tech hockey goalie Cam Ellsworth

"It's like a pack of wolves chasing a moose.  You can get all the fur you want, but until you kill it you're not going to eat."
Michigan Tech hockey coach Mike Sertich, after going winless in his team's first eight conference games

"I've been wearing a heat patch for about two years now.  I have a chronic back pain.  It just happens to be that my skirt is pretty low right now, and everybody sees the patch."
Anna Kournikova

"Corbett might be one of the last players who gets a big contract because of just one great year.  The economics of baseball being what they are, we might not see that again for awhile."
ABC commentator Al Michaels in 1986

Eric Eskola: "What about the Timberwolves draft?"
Sid Hartman: "They'll probably get a player."
Eric Eskola: "That sounds reasonable, but which one?"
WCCO Radio

This was during a lecture about silly science
Person: "Could you show us the table of the periodic table?"
Speaker: "Um, I would need to have it with me.  It's a big table."
Person: "I mean, could you show us the slide with the picture?"
Speaker: "Sure.  What's your favorite element?  I'm just trying to kill time while I try to find it..."
Person: "Um, air, I guess."