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More Quotes
From
Outside Sources
Being as
vague as possible
"Over the past few weeks, actions have been taken that have
affected many of us."
Senior company official, describing recent
layoffs
It would have made sense if he had stopped
the sentence earlier
"We'll have the game for you tomorrow, or actually later today,
but not if you're where we are, because it's still today here."
Atlanta Braves commentator Skip Caray, just
before midnight in the central time zone
Truths, undeniable
"We have this world, and we all live in it."
Jennifer
Radio slogans, intelligent
"Because all work and no play...sucks!"
WLOL Radio
Booker's Top Priorities:
Self suffiencecy
From the web site of independent
governor candidate Booker T. Hodges
"If he knocks this close to the
pin, it will put the cheese back on his cracker."
ABC golf
analyst
"He's going to crack it with a wooden metally
thing."
ABC golf analyst
"Matthew LeCroy alerty tags at
second and goes to first."
Minnesota Twins commentator Bert Blyleven
"We need to gain a competitive
edge over our competitors."
Howard Ringoen, Nintendo VP of Information
Systems
"The complexity was becoming
more complex."
Howard Ringoen
"That's maybe the loudest roar
I've ever seen."
NBC golf analyst Johnny Miller
"Frozen Waffle seeks Toaster
Oven."
Personal ad
"May I have your attention please? This is a test of
the public address system. If you are in an area in which you
cannot hear this message clearly, please call extension 36712.
Thank you."
Company loudspeaker message
"When using any driving directions or map, it's a good idea
to do a reality check and make sure the road still exists."
Yahoo! maps
"If you add more cards now, you can increase the total
number of cards that you are playing in the game."
Bingo caller
"If you expel me, I will go down as an expelled
member."
U.S. Representative James
Traficant, who was later expelled and convicted of accepting bribes
"If I was an ostrich, I'd have my head in the sand."
Texas Rangers pitcher Dave Burba,
after walking the bases loaded and hitting a batter to force in the
winning run of the Rangers' eighth consecutive defeat
"Augie has approved the ATM IMA business case (summary
attached). Please move forward with our operizationalization
activities."
Qwest senior VP
"The Twins have made 67 errors this season. That's 10
less than anybody else. Seattle has 76."
Detroit Tigers baseball announcer
"These are two able, attractive guys."
George McGovern
"They're anxious about the number of people that have turned
out in Grand Rapids because that number could affect the
turnout."
Detroit news reporter
"Go with me, Mark Twain country up the Mississippi."
Dan Rather
"This is one of those situations like when a cat finds a
mouse in the milk."
Dan Rather
"The situation with the Senate is they're first and goal
from about four yards out."
Dan Rather
"If the Democrats can't win this one, it's probably
sayonara, adios, say goodbye."
Dan Rather
"I'm taking on a fancy new title, but I'll still be me, and
I hope you'll still be you."
Michigan governor-elect Jennifer
Granholm
"Katarina Witt is the only acceptable use of an ice rink not
involving a hockey puck."
Jeffrey Cook II
"They just throw them in at me, and I just try to keep them
out."
Michigan Tech hockey goalie Cam Ellsworth
"It's like a pack of wolves chasing a moose. You can
get all the fur you want, but until you kill it you're not going to
eat."
Michigan Tech hockey coach Mike Sertich, after going winless in his
team's first eight conference games
"I've been wearing a heat patch for about two years now.
I have a chronic back pain. It just happens to be that my
skirt is pretty low right now, and everybody sees the patch."
Anna Kournikova
"Corbett might be one of the last players who gets a big
contract because of just one great year. The economics of
baseball being what they are, we might not see that again for
awhile."
ABC commentator Al Michaels in 1986
| Eric Eskola: |
"What about the Timberwolves draft?" |
| Sid Hartman: |
"They'll probably get a player." |
| Eric Eskola: |
"That sounds reasonable, but which
one?" |
WCCO Radio
This was during a
lecture about silly science
| Person: |
"Could you show us the table of the
periodic table?" |
| Speaker: |
"Um, I would need to have it with me.
It's a big table." |
| Person: |
"I mean, could you show us the slide with
the picture?" |
| Speaker: |
"Sure. What's your favorite element?
I'm just trying to kill time while I try to
find it..." |
| Person: |
"Um, air, I guess." |
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