About this site

Zero score and seven or so years ago, I was sitting in my high school homeroom when I overheard a first year teacher describing the results of her first administered test.

“Well, some people aced it. Like got a hundred percent, everything right. So it makes it seem like I must have taught something.”

Hmmm. That was memorable, but the photographic memory was a little blurry at 7:30 a.m, so I figured I’d better write that down in my academic planner. A few days later, a student presentation informed me that “Chapter eight takes place right after chapter seven.” The quotes kept coming, and I kept jotting them down. The planner, by the way, has been preserved, much like Shoeless Joe Jackson’s shoes, and will be donated to the Museum of Quotes whenever it opens. The teacher who uttered the first quote was gone after the semester.

At the end of the year, I compiled a print volume which was circulated for amusement by all. Well, maybe not some school administrators, but I think they secretly liked it and were only trying to give the appearance of enforcing the Pope’s recent encyclical, Quando Quotus Criminus, which roughly translates to “Compilers of Stupid Quotes are Sinners” (OK, I made that up).

On a serious note, the students and teachers whom I’ve met over the years imparted much more knowledge and wisdom than confused sayings, for which I am grateful and should mention that I do this only in fun.

The next year, a second, more successful, volume was published both in print and online, featuring the popular Dumb Question of the Year and Basic Mr. Rose sections.

The online version continued through my college years and eventually included five volumes. Then came the Dark Ages (2003-2006). Which brings us to this log…

In early 2007, this site was launched. Perhaps it was because of a realization that life is more fun when we laugh at ourselves. Perhaps it was because Morlok kept pestering me enough. But in any case, the quotes are back.

A few ground rules for content:

1. The quote has to actually have been uttered, and heard by me, or reported to me by a trustworthy person. For the purposes of this log, television and print media count as trustworthy people.

2. Unless the quoter is a celebrity or his or her identity is required for context, I won’t necessarily publish the name. The purpose is to entertain, not embarrass.

3. The content must be funny (duh) and not overtly offensive to sensible people. On this subjective point I am the dictator.

4. I will try to avoid reposting other humor compilations and chain e-mail type content like this one, unless the content is highly original and amusing, in which case I will categorize the post under Links and link to the original content.

Enjoy.