Archive for September, 2007

Predictions

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

Dusty Baker on the upcoming Rockies-Padres game:

“The team that gets the most two out RBI hits is going to win.”

Not, um, the team that scores the most runs.

***Update (10/1/07)***

I love it when this happens:

Two out RBI hits for Padres: 1
Two out RBI hits for Rockies: 0

Runs for Padres: 8
Runs for Rockies: 9

Knowing what you want

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

WAITER: How would you like your pork?
CUSTOMER: Cooked.

Trivial Pursuit

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

QUESTION: What was created by the Big Bang?
OTHER PLAYERS (guffawing in disgust): Atoms. Matter. Galaxies. Everything. Cows!
SARAH: I was created by the big bang!

Austrian, Australian, Whatever

Friday, September 7th, 2007

Even for someone as gaffe-prone as U.S. President George W. Bush, he was in rare form on Friday, confusing APEC with OPEC and transforming Australian troops into Austrians.

Search terms

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

Haven’t done this in awhile. Summer is a time to type mindless phrases into search engines, and here are a few of those phrases that brought people to morlok.net:

is karaoke good psychologically?
chuck norris took my virginity and if he ll sure as hell take yours too. if you re tihnking to yourself…
www.wow i am a morlok
cool claws cat ice cream
baseball quotes stealing second
(followed by…)
how to touch your girlfriend during second base
what happens to a 19 year old when he hits a 17 year old
morlok naked
going to canada from russian how long will take
flakey skin testicles
how to smoke marijuana in a dormitory

Miss Teen South Carolina

Monday, September 3rd, 2007

Had to post it. This has been all over You Tube lately.

AIMEE TEEGARDEN: Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?

LAUREN UPTON: I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for.