Archive for August, 2007

Nonsensical baseball babble

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

“With those two guys injured, it really hurts the team because they lose their performance and the impact they have when they are performing.”

Baseball commentator Steve Phillips

Thought of the day

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

From Matt Ridley’s book The Red Queen

“One way to exploit the other gender is to round up as many as possible and persuade them to mate with you.”

This is true.

Grocery geography

Monday, August 20th, 2007

On a fish product label:

Fresh Atlantic Salmon Fillets
Farm Raised – Product of Chile

Jerry Coleman quotes

Friday, August 17th, 2007

Yogi Berra might have had more famous baseball (mis)quotes, but San Diego announcer Jerry Coleman was also very good at contradicting himself and misplacing words within a sentence. A few of his best:

“Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles.”

“Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?”

“Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.”

“Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It’s rolling all the way back to second base. This is a terrible thing for the Padres.”

A list of Coleman quotes is here.

Actober

Tuesday, August 14th, 2007

While on the topic of baseball videos, baseball fans and video game players will appreciate this rendition of Game 6 of the ‘86 World Series on Nintendo RBI Baseball. The bottom of the 10th inning is played pitch-by-pitch combined with audio of the actual game from Vin Scully.

I thought of this because Fox Sports keeps advertising a fan contest called “Actober” in which contestants can win prizes for submitting their own performance of an event from October baseball. While this isn’t probably what they had in mind, I think it is worthy of submission.

I would advise contestants to avoid one of the ten or so memorable moments (Fisk, Buckner, Gibson, etc.) that avid baseball fans have seen countless times, as these entries would likely be unoriginal and difficult to do well. Instead, here are some lesser known suggestions that might be fun:

- Bill Wambsganss’s unassisted triple play in 1920

- The 1926 Series ending with Babe Ruth’s unsuccesful attempt to steal second base

- The Washington Senators winning their only title in 1924. Bonus points for actually making the ball bounce off a pebble and over the third baseman’s head as it did on the final play.

- The Royal Rooters delaying the start of a game in 1912 by inciting a riot in the stands and effectively halving the attendance in the deciding game by setting up a picket line outside Fenway Park.

- A little league or beer-league softball game could pass for Game 4 of the ‘93 Series in which Toronto defeated Philadelphia 15-14. For an added touch, find players who look like John Kruk and Mitch Williams.

Unveiling goes awry

Monday, August 13th, 2007

The commemoration ceremony for Alex Rodriguez’s 500th home run didn’t go as planned.

Fun with geography

Monday, August 6th, 2007

I haven’t posted anything for awhile; there just hasn’t been much stupidity lately. Fortunately, we still have Verizon online service agents, aka “pre-sales specialists”, see transcript.