Archive for March, 2007

On Antisocial Personality Disorder

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

“I love that there are actual medical terms for things like being a pain in the butt.?

Quotes from the NCAA basketball tournament

Monday, March 26th, 2007

“How bout that, the concentration, and also the bump to buoy you, to keep you…erect.?
Bill Raftery

“Memphis coach John Calipari is going to run out of players to get mad at.?
Verne Lundquist

“He gets more crawlers than the local bakery. Let me tell you, he has soft deliveries.?
Bill Raftery

Henry Higgins impersonator

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

FIRST MAN: I can tell yer mom is a Jersey girl.
SECOND MAN: Really? How?
FIRST MAN: Your grandpa told me.

Quotes from the office, part 2

Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

“If somebody else has a big one and you have a little one, it’s not such a big thing.”

“A tapestry is a woven doohicky.”

“Capitation sounds like lopping something off that maybe you shouldn’t be.”

WCHA Championship

Monday, March 19th, 2007

Lots of material from Saturday’s night’s Minnesota-North Dakota overtime thriller. First, highlights from the game, including Blake Wheeler’s dive and one-handed overtime goal.

Also, an interesting interview for Ron Johnson to name the Red Baron Hockey Mom of the Year. She wasn’t there in person to collect the award, but her son represented her in a Red Baron hockey jersey and said she was “totally stoked” about winning it.

And finally, lots of quotes from commentators Frank Mazzocco and Doug Woog:

DOUG: Davies is probably the happiest guy on the ice after that whistle. He’s not happy about being injured, but he’s the happiest.

DOUG: Number 20 ushered him right in. It’s a back check, not a bad check. It’s a good check, and he took him right into the net.

DOUG: Lamoreaux…he was in church. He had no idea where he was.

FRANK: Bina would have needed a ladder to bring down Wheeler. That didn’t stop him from trying…the lack of a ladder.

FRANK: Lamoreaux makes a glove catch and will hold on and do his usual dance.

FRANK: Long pass…where? To nobody; it’s icing.

DOUG: Compared to what was going on in the first period, that was like a kiss on the cheek.

DOUG: Jimminy Crickets. That being a high stick. That’s a rope-a-dope. That’s a real rope there. Stoa got it up, I don’t know around Zajac’s neck or what. That was a real clothesline…

DOUG: Yeah, no stick by Finley. He’s got about a 49-footer he has to bend over and get. That thing reaches from here to Saint – to Minneapolis – for crying out loud.

DOUG: Scuttlebutt is very free up here.

DOUG: If he had her down, he had her in. Got it up high, got it up in the jet stream.

Chinese Fire Drill

Friday, March 16th, 2007

This week’s Friday fun clip comes courtesy of a President Bush press conference in China.

On accidental death and dismemberment insurance

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

“If you die in some sort of weird way, you get more money.”

Quotes from math professors

Monday, March 12th, 2007

“When something is fundamental, it means it’s very important.?

“As a mathematician, I can hardly afford to indulge in a bias against negatives.”

“Freed from the tyranny of constant force of interest…”

“These problems for Chapter 2 are limited in scope and very basic.”
Comment for the problem set which included the integral that took the instructor several days to work out

Homeowners’ words of wisdom

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

WOMAN: If you have an old furnace and the air flow isn’t right, it could fill up the house with carbon monoxide and you could die.
MAN: That’s a worst case scenario.

“The light bulbs in the areas that we use most like the computer and the living room go out more often.”

Bisexuals and pagans and Darwinists, oh my!

Monday, March 5th, 2007

This was in the Minnesota Daily a few years back. What happened was that the student council cut funding for a religious student organization that was using a religiously-exclusive membership policy. That caused a controversy, the school paper needed an interview subject for a counterpoint, and got this:

“They want to turn down the hordes of bisexual pagan Darwinists applying for membership to the Maranatha Christian Fellowship, but they still want the cash.”
Mike Jones, president of Campus Atheists and Secular Humanists