Archive for the ‘Duh’ Category

Thank You Media

Thursday, August 12th, 2010

“We are under a heat advisory until 7:00. This means that you are advised that it is hot.”

Good idea

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

“They should be playing to win, instead of playing not to win.”

Hockey analyst Jeremy Roenick

In case you were wondering

Saturday, April 24th, 2010

“Study finds teen girls text far more than boys.”

Airlines’ Expert on Missing Bags Fights Lost Cause

Friday, August 14th, 2009

In Andrew Price’s first year on the job, airlines lost his luggage seven times. That would be bad enough if he were the average continent-hopping businessman, but Mr. Price is the man the airlines rely on to help them stop losing bags.

Math

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

Michigan Tech is averaging 1.66 goals per game.  For those of you who are not mathematically inclined, they’ve scored less than 2 goals per game.

Hockey commentator Doug Woog

No wonder this hockey team isn’t known for academics

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

Television caption during a player interview:

Tony Lucia
Studing abroad next semester

Misleading title

Friday, December 26th, 2008

“We went to see Get Smart, which was stupid.”

Alcoholics Nonanonymous

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

PERSON: I went to the AA meeting and I saw [John Smith] there.
OTHER PERSON: I thought it was supposed to be anonymous.
PERSON: Well, it’s not anonymous because I went to the meeting and he was there and I could clearly see who he was.

QUESTION: What does DUI stand for?
PERSON: Drinking under the influence.

Bumper stickers

Saturday, November 15th, 2008

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”

“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.”

August roundup

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

COLLEGE REP: “Our recruiter is responsible for bringing all these Minnesotans to Minnesota.”

WOMAN ON SIDEWALK: “God bless Jesus.”

COACH: He’s really fast.
OTHER COACH: You can’t teach that.
COACH: You can only learn it.

COLOR GUY: (Didn’t catch his name, must be new, offers no analysis that a 12 year old couldn’t, previously made the point that good baseball teams ‘gotta win series’.)
You have the best run differential in the major leagues, how do you account for that?

LOU PINIELLA: (Run differential = runs scored – runs allowed.  If he has more than two functioning neurons, his answer is going to involve hitting and pitching.)
Well, we do get some timely hitting here.  When we get home runs, we put runs on the board…in bunches, but I think the big thing here is our pitching.  Our pitching keeps games in check and when you only give up 2 or 3 and you score more than that, your run differential is going to go up.  That’s what I accredit that to.

Edit: The color guy is Eric Karros.